This is currently a work-in-progress. Started as a free-association exercise in my British Literature class, came out as this:
Trees,
How tall and green you are!
How spooky and mysterious you seem...
I long to live beneath your limbs and leaves,
To use your fallen comrades to make my home,
To hear you sway in the wind deep at night.
How mighty and majestic are your ways.
You start as a few cells,
As tiny as an acorn,
Yet you grow taller than anything else...
Your life isn't lived in vain.
You provide housing for the squirrels,
The bears,
The birds.
You provide food for the animals of the forest.
And when you fall,
You provide nutrition for the mushrooms
And insects that crawl.
Oh, the sound you make when your life
Comes to an end
And you again meet the cold, hard ground...
(Tolkien)
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Dream
My group had been out in the forest like we always are. We don't do anything, just observe nature, see how the trees are growing, how full the rivers are....I should have told the others that something was going to happen. I don't know how I knew though. I just sort of...felt it.
One moment we were chasing each other...the next moment, we were surrounded. Apparently we had run into the Others' camp without knowing it. I don't remember how we got there or much of what happened after that.
Then I remember this: I was running for my life. Through a forest blanketed with pine needles, filled with young trees, barely 8 inches across. I see a creek and I take my chance. One quick step has me wading along the shore, eyes seeing the trees meet ground, holding on quick with their roots grabbing at the dirt. I dare not turn around to see how far behind me the Others are.
I have to stop because the water is getting too deep for me to run in and I'm getting very tired. I don't know how long I'd been running or how many Others had been chasing after us. Unfortunately, I was one of the slowest people in my group. Everyone else was long gone ahead of me.
Then I see a house. A complex house that has been abandoned for quite some time. I see two of the Others enter the house and I sneak up next to the ramp that they used. It looked like a good place to hide for the moment, a wall behind me, the ramp in front of me, and the porch to my right. My plan was to wait until they walked away then I would sneak around the ramp and keep following my group.
Another girl from my group was running past and caught sight of me. She came and hid with me, barely getting there before the two came out of the house. They went down the ramp and we were just about home free when they stopped. To our dismay, they turned around and saw us. We were trapped and had no where to go. I was just about to run again, not caring whether I was going to lose my life or not, when their leader showed up.
Now, I'm not scared of anything, or anyone, except this man. He is the epitome of evil. But looking at him, you would never know this. Gorgeous honey-colored eyes, tall, rugged...He seems sweet and almost charming like nothing bad could ever happen when you're near him, then he starts to speak.
"Well, looks like you won't make it [home] after all." The sound of his voice makes me want to scream and cry. I stay there in the corner because I figure it's the safest place for me to be at the moment. "All I need is for you to give me what I want and then you can go."
"I...I don't know what you want," I barely manage to say. He apparently wasn't happy with my answer.
"I want what you have taken from me. If you don't give it back......" I black out on what he says.
Trying to buy myself some time, I look at him with an exaggerated look and say, "What? I'm sorry...I couldn't understand what you were saying. I didn't hear it...what did you say? I honestly didn't hear you." He believes me and repeats himself again but it doesn't sink in until I hear this:
"Kill them. One at a time. Shoot them in the head. Take the one on the outside first." An Other comes up and grabs the girl sitting next to me, lifting her away from me so she could be killed first. "Put one bullet in the chamber. Put the gun against her head and pull the trigger." I can't believe he's what he saying! He wants to kill us?? We didn't do anything! He was the one that stole us from our group and now he wants to kill us...I've got to do something to save my life and maybe even hers.
While all this is happening, You show up. You walk out of the house and look at me, your eyes saying "I'm doing all I can to set you free." But it isn't enough. I slide my hand up through the handrails and You take it in yours. You ask, "How are you feeling?"
"......Content." I'm content that I'm going to die?? The answer is yes, because You are still free and I know that my life is nothing compared to what is ahead in yours.
Then comes the three words that I never knew you would say, to me...or anyone, "I love you."
I could feel the electricity running from your heart to mine..."I love you too." Then it hits me. I know what I have to do in order to live. I look at You one more time and try to convey my thoughts across the distance. Then You understand. It breaks your heart but You know it must be done.
"Wait!" I look at the leader. "Can I talk to you for a moment? Privately?" I give You one last look and he leads me away from everyone, around the side of the house.
"What?"
"I don't want to die yet. I'm not done living," I pour all my emotions into this, but it's not hard to. My life is literally tied to his answer. "There is one just one thing that I want to do with my life. One thing: get married and have kids. I don't want to do anything else except that. Please...let me live. Let me fulfill my dream."
He thinks for a long time about his answer...I can almost see the change in him. "Okay."
His answer is a blind side. "What? Wait, will you marry me?" I ask incredulously, not believing my ears.
"Yes. Stay by me." We walk back to the ramp and I stay as far away from the gun as I can, still fearing for my life. "She is going to be my wife. She must be circumcised and then I will marry her." The girl who is about to die begs for her life too and he agrees to give her to one of the Others.
I see the look on your face when he says this and it breaks me. I know I can't go on with this Other. I have to get out as soon as I can.
After this, he sets the Others on tearing apart the abandoned house, still looking for what we have supposedly taken and I try desperately to find You. There You are, in a back room of the house. When I enter the room, You break down. Sobbing, we both embrace each other and I make my last words to You a promise that I will never break: "Listen. I love you. I had to do this so I could live. I didn't have any other choice. But I promise that I will find you. You know that I will never love him. I don't know how and I don't know when, but I will find you. I will run to the ends of the world if I have to. I will find you...."
And it all fades to black. I don't know what happens next. I want to know what happens. I want to know if I was able to get free, if I was able to leave, if I was able to find you. The only sure thing that I know is that "circumcision" meant a purging of my previous life. Everything from my past had to go. But of course, it was just going to be a facade I was putting on. I was always going to be tied to "You," but I don't even know who "You" are.
What does this mean and why did it affect me so much?
One moment we were chasing each other...the next moment, we were surrounded. Apparently we had run into the Others' camp without knowing it. I don't remember how we got there or much of what happened after that.
Then I remember this: I was running for my life. Through a forest blanketed with pine needles, filled with young trees, barely 8 inches across. I see a creek and I take my chance. One quick step has me wading along the shore, eyes seeing the trees meet ground, holding on quick with their roots grabbing at the dirt. I dare not turn around to see how far behind me the Others are.
I have to stop because the water is getting too deep for me to run in and I'm getting very tired. I don't know how long I'd been running or how many Others had been chasing after us. Unfortunately, I was one of the slowest people in my group. Everyone else was long gone ahead of me.
Then I see a house. A complex house that has been abandoned for quite some time. I see two of the Others enter the house and I sneak up next to the ramp that they used. It looked like a good place to hide for the moment, a wall behind me, the ramp in front of me, and the porch to my right. My plan was to wait until they walked away then I would sneak around the ramp and keep following my group.
Another girl from my group was running past and caught sight of me. She came and hid with me, barely getting there before the two came out of the house. They went down the ramp and we were just about home free when they stopped. To our dismay, they turned around and saw us. We were trapped and had no where to go. I was just about to run again, not caring whether I was going to lose my life or not, when their leader showed up.
Now, I'm not scared of anything, or anyone, except this man. He is the epitome of evil. But looking at him, you would never know this. Gorgeous honey-colored eyes, tall, rugged...He seems sweet and almost charming like nothing bad could ever happen when you're near him, then he starts to speak.
"Well, looks like you won't make it [home] after all." The sound of his voice makes me want to scream and cry. I stay there in the corner because I figure it's the safest place for me to be at the moment. "All I need is for you to give me what I want and then you can go."
"I...I don't know what you want," I barely manage to say. He apparently wasn't happy with my answer.
"I want what you have taken from me. If you don't give it back......" I black out on what he says.
Trying to buy myself some time, I look at him with an exaggerated look and say, "What? I'm sorry...I couldn't understand what you were saying. I didn't hear it...what did you say? I honestly didn't hear you." He believes me and repeats himself again but it doesn't sink in until I hear this:
"Kill them. One at a time. Shoot them in the head. Take the one on the outside first." An Other comes up and grabs the girl sitting next to me, lifting her away from me so she could be killed first. "Put one bullet in the chamber. Put the gun against her head and pull the trigger." I can't believe he's what he saying! He wants to kill us?? We didn't do anything! He was the one that stole us from our group and now he wants to kill us...I've got to do something to save my life and maybe even hers.
While all this is happening, You show up. You walk out of the house and look at me, your eyes saying "I'm doing all I can to set you free." But it isn't enough. I slide my hand up through the handrails and You take it in yours. You ask, "How are you feeling?"
"......Content." I'm content that I'm going to die?? The answer is yes, because You are still free and I know that my life is nothing compared to what is ahead in yours.
Then comes the three words that I never knew you would say, to me...or anyone, "I love you."
I could feel the electricity running from your heart to mine..."I love you too." Then it hits me. I know what I have to do in order to live. I look at You one more time and try to convey my thoughts across the distance. Then You understand. It breaks your heart but You know it must be done.
"Wait!" I look at the leader. "Can I talk to you for a moment? Privately?" I give You one last look and he leads me away from everyone, around the side of the house.
"What?"
"I don't want to die yet. I'm not done living," I pour all my emotions into this, but it's not hard to. My life is literally tied to his answer. "There is one just one thing that I want to do with my life. One thing: get married and have kids. I don't want to do anything else except that. Please...let me live. Let me fulfill my dream."
He thinks for a long time about his answer...I can almost see the change in him. "Okay."
His answer is a blind side. "What? Wait, will you marry me?" I ask incredulously, not believing my ears.
"Yes. Stay by me." We walk back to the ramp and I stay as far away from the gun as I can, still fearing for my life. "She is going to be my wife. She must be circumcised and then I will marry her." The girl who is about to die begs for her life too and he agrees to give her to one of the Others.
I see the look on your face when he says this and it breaks me. I know I can't go on with this Other. I have to get out as soon as I can.
After this, he sets the Others on tearing apart the abandoned house, still looking for what we have supposedly taken and I try desperately to find You. There You are, in a back room of the house. When I enter the room, You break down. Sobbing, we both embrace each other and I make my last words to You a promise that I will never break: "Listen. I love you. I had to do this so I could live. I didn't have any other choice. But I promise that I will find you. You know that I will never love him. I don't know how and I don't know when, but I will find you. I will run to the ends of the world if I have to. I will find you...."
And it all fades to black. I don't know what happens next. I want to know what happens. I want to know if I was able to get free, if I was able to leave, if I was able to find you. The only sure thing that I know is that "circumcision" meant a purging of my previous life. Everything from my past had to go. But of course, it was just going to be a facade I was putting on. I was always going to be tied to "You," but I don't even know who "You" are.
What does this mean and why did it affect me so much?
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